Never Talk To Your Therapist About Romantic Transference

Based On Principle
11 min readJul 21

You may have seen this video by Katie Morton titled “I have a CRUSH on my Therapist!” or read this article by Dr. Ryan Howes titled “A Client’s Guide to Transference” where they talk about how “it’s good” to talk to your therapist about romantic transference. If you don’t know what this means, romantic transference is where you feel romantic feelings towards your therapist. This is usually due to some unresolved underlying needs that haven’t been met elsewhere in the client’s life. What they don’t tell you is how this is actually a very bad idea, and many therapists will straight up abandon their clients over this, in their alleged “safe, non-judgemental space”.

Just go through the comment section of Katie Morton’s video ( and see how many people had this exact thing happen to them after doing this.

Look at how many people attempted suicide. Think about how many people went through with committing suicide but are unable to tell their story here, because they are dead. Did Katie Morton ever tell you about this very serious risk? Did Dr. Howes ever tell you about how so many therapists will straight up abandon their clients over this — which often results in their death? Think about how many people are now dead because they naively followed “the experts” advice.

If you really do feel like it would be helpful to discuss romantic transference with a therapist, you should only talk about it with a different therapist (i.e. a therapist that you don’t have romantic transference with) and never bring it up with the therapist you are attracted to. You don’t even have to stop seeing the therapist that you are attracted to; you could simply alternate therapists every other session or so. You don’t even have to tell the first therapist that you…

Based On Principle

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